The Long Days

Let me just begin by saying, I love being a child of God!! Wow, just with that phrase, so many things run thru my mind. Lets hope I can communicate it well :-) Being one of God's daughters is the hardest thing there is, only because i fight my flesh every moment of the day. I battle thru all the things I desire to do right, verses all the things my flesh wants to do to serve myself. How is it that Paul expresses it in Romans 7:15-25 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do..." (v.15 NIV)

That said, being God's daughter is the greatest gift/blessing/honor. Because I'm His daughter, the love he bestows on me is unconditional and never-ending!! He gave me the gift of His Son, to come to this earth, to die on a ugly, cruel cross and take all my sins on Himself, to raise again to new life, just so that He can make an new person out of me and I don't need to live and die in my sin--FORGIVENESS!! He has given my the gift of the Holy Spirit to work on every aspect of my life, to refine me, to make me more like Him. And the gift that I see everyday is the Grace he gives me to handle all that life throws at me, and I still don't feel I have a handle on what all that Grace does in my life and how it works. So as I continue to work thru these gifts and how they effect every aspect of my life, I want to share my heart on this aspect of my long days.

As I sit back and think about this past year, as June was the one year mark of Bryan starting his own business, I am truly amazed at God's provision. Never doubting that He wouldn't or that we would be without, but just how God brought to us the perfect place to rent for this time in our life, the church we have now become members of and are now serving in and growing in, and the friends and social life that has become the most encouraging aspect of our life. I am blessed beyond what I could of imagined a year ago. I write this more for myself to be reminded of all the important and good things because I loose focus so easy now that Bryan's work has picked up for the rest of the summer and into the fall (once again, God's provision!!).

Thru the winter months it was so hard as there were many weeks Bryan was home (I'm not complaining) because he didn't have a job and we wondered how we were going to make it to the next month, but we always did, in large part thru his old employer he worked for while he was in college and when we first got married. As the summer started it was still slow coming off the winter but as the summer progressed, he has become more and more busy. Which is all good, I'm not complaining. But as anyone can tell you, more work means longer days for him! He has very full weeks and leaves early in the morning and doesn't come home till after dark. I know it is hard on him and I love him all the more for all that he does! I say to him a lot "What is long days for you, are long days for me as-well".

I find it to be difficult to be the only one around all day, meeting every need my boys have. It gets to be a lot and any stay-at-home Mom knows exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not going to dive into every little struggle but it is on these days and weeks that I find I loose sight of God's amazing gift of Grace. At the end of the long day, after the temper was lost, the spills and accidents done, the consent phrase "I'm hungry!!!" is put to rest, I begin to see my ugly self. My selfish, prideful, you name it, self. God gives grace and forgiveness, God brings a new day, and SO thankful that God works apart from me.

This is getting long and I could go on about how bad and sinful of a person I am but something I want to express is, It is in these long days where God has taught me the most about Himself and about who I am in Him. I have learned and grown so much in my understanding and being sensitive to what my husband has to do and what his long days are like. And how my response to him effects our relationship, my perspective, and ultimately my day and fellowship with God. It doesn't mean it makes it easier to handle or that I respond perfectly, because so often I feel I make 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, but I'm still learning and growing.

So, Stay-at-home Moms, on those long days when you think they will never end, and you just want your husband home, be encouraged that your not the only one, and God is just trying to refine you just alittle more. What is He trying to teach you and are you open to His refinement?

I love what I do everyday, my boys are my life, and so since Bryan is working all weekend as well, we are going to turn in our ticket that Danny won on Community Days and get a fish!! Lol